We Still Haven't Figured This Out Yet

There's so much that I personally don't know, that I often forget that most people don't know most things. In general, people are oblivious to the world around them and how it works. So, I'll discuss something that I don't think anyone has an explanation for and kind of pains me to think about too hard. 

When I was 3, I decided I was going to be a doctor. For the next 9 years, I told everyone this and spent a lot of time researching neurodegenerative diseases like Parkinsons. Why, though? I look back at the idea of being a doctor and cringe because it goes against so much of that I believe now. I would hate having to study and spend so many years after undergrad still in school. I understand that people change as they grow up; most students my age will end up majoring in something they never planned on in a few years. But what determines passion? What about a person want to give themselves entirely to something?

Now I want to be a writer, which is generally less logical in the eyes of most people. They get very inconsistent pay and make much less than any doctor, on average. But that's what I want to do with my life. Some people love the idea of teaching, or playing professional sports, or saving lives, and here I am: just wanting to sit around and write stories all day. It's crazy to me. I wish there was an explanation for why people settle into different careers based on what they care deeply for. We haven't figured out where passion comes from and I don't think we ever will.